When someone passes away, there are numerous ways to offer condolences. Some people express their condolences in person, others in writing. Exactly what to say, however, can be difficult to determine. To avoid saying the wrong thing, we’ve put together a list of suggestions and a bit of advice where expressing sympathy over the death of a friend or loved one is concerned.
Why Do People Express Sympathy?
Why are condolences offered when someone passes away? The goal is to offer comfort, concern, and compassion for the bereaved. You can share a happy memory, say how much you will miss the deceased, etc. What is most crucial, however, is that you express to them that you are available for support and you care about the bereaved.
Let’s look at some things you might say to express sympathy.
Manners in Which to Express Sympathy
Here are a few things to say when you don’t know what to say:
- I’d love to get together and have you tell me all about [the person who died] when you’re ready. Maybe we could have lunch, but no rush.
- Remember, I love you and I’m here for you.
- This must be very difficult for you.
- I will certainly miss her/him.
- She/he was an amazing individual.
- Rest assured, you are in my thoughts (and prayers, if appropriate).
- I am so very sorry for your loss.
Appropriate Reactions Can Be Difficult
As concerned as most people are about the bereaved, and as devastated as they may be by the loss of the deceased, it isn’t always difficult to come up with the right thing to say. There are definite situations which should be avoided and things that shouldn’t be said, however, when someone dies.
You may be dealing with some very strong emotions, as well as the bereaved person. Sometimes it’s difficult to determine what the appropriate actions are. Here are a few good rules to follow:
- This death will likely change the lives of many. Don’t deny or ignore that. Remember that everyone grieves in their own way and timeframe, whether or not you agree with or identify with it.
- Emotional pain is being experienced by many, including the bereaved. Do not refuse to accept that.
- Someone died. That must be accepted and acknowledged. While other people may be in denial, make sure you’re not one of them.
What Not to Say
There are a few things that really should not be said, for a variety of reasons. Here are a few:
- You will feel better soon enough, don’t worry.
- Well, at least you had a chance to say goodbye and their suffering was over quickly.
- If my [insert deceased person’s relationship] died I can’t imagine what I would do!
- It’s time to start getting on with the rest of your life.
- How are you holding up/how are you doing?
- Well, they’re in a better place.
- I know exactly how you feel.
Trust American Heritage Cemetery Funeral Home Crematory
Has a friend or loved one passed on and now you’re responsible for planning the funeral? We understand that in the midst of grieving, it can be difficult to think straight, much less plan a tribute to your loved one. We are here to help. Trust the capable, experienced, and knowledgeable representatives of American Heritage Cemetery Funeral Home Crematory. If the deceased left instructions, we can help make sure they are followed. If you have to do all the planning, we will assist you in any way you need. That’s what we do.
Feel free to contact us to find out more about the services we offer today!