How Can You Help Children Understand Death?
When a loved one passes away, it can be difficult to explain what has happened to children. As they are just starting to make sense of the world around them, children may not understand the finality of death and react in ways that adults may find difficult to handle. It is important to let your children grieve in their own ways instead of denying their grief. In this article, we guide you through how to explain death to children.
Common Reactions of Children to Death
Very young children may not comprehend what death means at all. Children who are slightly older may understand death for what it is but have many questions or simply refuse to accept that their loved one is gone forever. As a result, children may develop certain coping mechanisms such as:
- Denial: insisting that their deceased loved one has simply gone on holiday and will be back eventually.
- Regression: displaying behaviors such as thumb-sucking and throwing tantrums.
Some children may even develop physical symptoms such as stomach-aches. While it may be frustrating to watch what your child is going through, keep in mind that these reactions are perfectly normal and your children will heal with time and the right support.
What To Do
What can you do to explain death to children and aid them in the healing process?
- Do not lie to them. Some parents may think telling their children Grandpa has simply “gone on holiday” is the easier way out, but that only serves to confuse them even more. Be honest in a way kids can understand. For instance, you can explain that “Grandpa’s body has stopped working”.
- Include them in the funeral services. Let your child have the chance to say goodbye. Just because they do not understand doesn’t negate their need to have closure.
- Express your grief openly. Some parents are under the impression that hiding their grief is putting on a strong front and letting their kids know there’s nothing to worry about: they are wrong. If you impart the mindset that grieving is wrong, your child will not only be ashamed of it but may even develop unhealthy coping mechanisms in later life.
- Encourage healthy coping mechanisms. Introduce age-appropriate ways of dealing with their grief such as drawing, exercising and outdoor play.
What Not To Do
- Disrupt your daily routine. It is important to let your children know that death is a part of life, but that life goes on as usual. Allowing school and social events to go on as normal will help your child move forward in the healing process.
- Avoid all mention of your loved one. If they do not talk about it with you, your child will either bottle up their feelings or get misinformation from someone else. Which would you prefer? Besides, research has proven that sharing memories help to speed up healing after a loved one’s death.
Honor Your Loved One’s Life With A Funeral Service
Grief experts have agreed that holding a ceremony is an important part of the healing process. Let American Heritage Cemetery Funeral Home Crematory craft an unique and meaningful funeral service to honor the life of your loved one and start the healing process for you.
If you need help planning a suitable service for your loved one, contact us through our online form today. We walk you through the entire process to ensure the most stress-free experience so you can focus entirely on your loved one.
